I was thinking yesterday that I feel I am made a fundamental shift in my mindset. Looking back over my life, I have always seen myself as a fat person. That view started in high school and it was clearly incorrect from pictures of myself from that time period. It continued as I got older and started to gain weight, a little at a time. The one time my weight went down, and I appeared thin, was after my son was born, but it wasn’t a long enough period to affect my self-view. I still saw myself as “fat” and my choices in life were consistent with that mindset.
Now, however, I see myself as a thin, healthy person and that changes everything.
My self-view as a healthy person affects my choice in food. Healthy people don’t eat processed food or consume excessive amounts of sugar or fast food. Healthy people enjoy vegetables and fruits, but are free to deviate and enjoy other items from time to time (just not every meal). Healthy people eat to fuel their body, rather than to address their emotions, positive or negative.
My self-view as healthy person affects my desire to cook. I’ve never been much of a cook, mostly because I don’t like when people complain about my cooking. However, cooking healthy food for myself is enjoyable. If other people want to eat it, great; if not, that’s fine too. I’m doing it for me, first and foremost.
My self-view as a healthy person affects the way I present myself. Unfortunately for my husband, this doesn’t mean I dress up, fix my hair, and apply makeup every day before heading to work, but it does mean I dress in a way that accentuates my figure. I have stopped wearing frumpy clothes that hang on my like a sack. I am embracing clothing that fits me. I have even changed my style of yoga pants to a longer pant that accentuates my body lines, so I appear longer and leaner. I pull my hair off of my face to show that I do have cheekbones.
My self-view as a healthy person affects my desire to exercise. One of my 90-day goals was to exercise for at least 150 minutes/week and enjoy it. I had to add the “enjoy” part because it’s just like me to go through the motions and “get ‘er done” and feel like its torture. That eventually causes me to burn out, or worse, get injured, and not want to exercise anymore. Lately, I have been going to yoga and Body Flow regularly and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I am looking forward to starting adult ballet when my schedule opens up a little!
And, most importantly, my self-view as a healthy person affects my motivations to share what I am learning with my friends and even strangers. I really feel led to study obesity medicine, and how nutritional changes can reverse metabolic disease. I desire to help other people on their journey – not be pushy, of course, but share with others who are interested. I feel more confident in not just what I am learning, but also who I am as a person, and that is directly correlated to my ability to come along side other people on their own journeys.
This is a new place for me, but the possibilities are endless. It’s only been 51 days since I started on this phase of my life, but I can see long-term changes in my mindset starting to solidify and I am excited to see where this journey will lead me.